The "Pause": Menopause as a Season of Transition
- Lea Famularcano
- Feb 8
- 6 min read
A little while ago, I came across a funny sign that said:One minute you’re a peacock, the next you’re a feather duster.
Funny, not funny, when you're actually feeling like it!
I think a lot of women feel this way. I know I do.
I relished my 20s, 30s, and 40s being active. While I was never an athlete per se, I had decent athleticism—flexibility, balance, and strength—more than the average person. And I took full advantage of it. I played tennis, hiked, went to boot camps. I raised my child, together with my husband and did life with them—getting on the floor, climbing hills, riding bikes. We travelled; swam with whales, sharks, and turtles. It was glorious.
My body showed up for all of it. And I am deeply grateful.
During the earlier decades I was training for my career—finishing medical school, completing residency, and eventually settling into my outpatient 8–5 job, while raising my family. Of course, like many physicians, that “8–5” often extended into late nights finishing charts. Taking in the stress 24/7.
When things are working well, we often take things for granted. That includes our health—and our bodies.
Over the last five to seven years, I began noticing subtle changes. One quiet day, as I walked up the stairs, I heard a creaking noise. Was it the step… or—gasp—my knee? I also noticed that no matter what workout I was doing, my midsection was changing. Let’s just say the love handles were getting handlier.
Still, these changes felt minor. I was having regular periods, so menopause wasn’t even on my radar.
Then came 2024—the year I turned 50—when my hormones (or lack of it anyway) decided to make themselves known.
It started with adhesive capsulitis in my right shoulder. Frozen shoulder. Then noticeable hair thinning. Worsening knee pain. And finally, the unmistakable hot flashes.
This peacock had officially turned into a feather duster!
While this was happening, I felt betrayed. In my mind, I had done the “right” things to care for my health—so these changes felt confusing and unfair.
That sense of betrayal is common in menopause—and it’s often the moment we stop trusting our bodies instead of listening to them.
What I understand now, both as a physician and as a woman living this transition, is that nothing was broken.
It’s a pause—a hormonal recalibration.
What once felt manageable now feels harder. Somehow the rules have changed.
Your body is giving you new information. And when we listen instead of push through, it becomes the start of a new relationship with our body—one built on partnership.
For me the pause is an invitation to slow down a bit.
When the Body Slows Down, It’s Often Asking for Safety
When we experience stress, the body shifts into protection mode. This response is designed to keep us alive.
In short bursts, stress is helpful. But when stress becomes chronic—years of high responsibility, emotional load, poor sleep, skipped meals, and constant mental pressure—the body adapts. It slows things down. It conserves energy. It becomes cautious.
During perimenopause and menopause, this response becomes more pronounced. While we know estrogen and progesterone regulate reproduction, it helps to understand that estrogen and progesterone receptors are also found throughout the body.
They are present in the brain, where they influence mood, cognition, and sleep;
in joints and connective tissue, affecting pain and stiffness;
in blood vessels, supporting vascular health;
and in muscle, bone, and fat tissue, influencing strength, recovery, and metabolism.
So when these hormones fluctuate and decline, the effects are systemic. The brain fog, joint pain, sleep disruption, mood changes, and shifts in body composition are all connected.
As it turns out, our reproductive hormones also help buffer stress, support sleep, and influence how we use and store energy. As these hormones fluctuate and decline, the body becomes more sensitive to stress signals.
That’s when women start noticing changes that feel alarming or frustrating:
Weight gain, especially around the midsection
Persistent fatigue
Brain fog or difficulty concentrating
From the body’s perspective, holding onto energy, dialing down nonessential functions, and prioritizing safety makes sense. The body doesn’t know about dress size goals or productivity goals. Its primary job is survival.
When we understand this, the narrative shifts. Instead of asking What’s wrong with me? One can ask instead, "What does my body need right now?"
Understanding what’s happening in the body is empowering—but it also raises an important question: What now?
Now What?
For some women, this is the right time to have a thoughtful conversation with their physician about whether menopausal hormone therapy is appropriate. For the right candidate, hormone replacement can help relieve symptoms and support overall health. This is a highly individualized decision and should be made in partnership with a clinician who understands your personal history and risk profile.
Hormones, however, are only one part of the picture.
Lifestyle matters even more during this transition. As the hormonal buffering of our youth disappear, adequate nutrition, stable blood sugar, restorative movement, quality sleep, and stress regulation becomes even more crucial.
Supporting Your Body During the Pause: What Actually Helps
As the body becomes more sensitive to stress during menopause, the basics matter even more. Don't worry about doing things perfectly. Choosing small pivots could make the biggest difference.
Nutrition: Eat well, rather than restrict
A lot of my patients and clients' natural instinct is to eat less and starve themselves in order to lose weight. During this transition, under-eating and erratic eating could create more stress.
Adequate protein helps preserve muscle, supports metabolism, and stabilizes energy and mood
Fiber-rich foods support gut health, blood sugar regulation, and cardiovascular health
Supplementation, when appropriate, can help fill gaps—but should complement, not replace, nutrition
The goal is not more rules but rather finding consistency and nourishment.
Strength Training: Protect What Matters
Muscle loss accelerates during menopause, affecting metabolism, balance, and bone health.
Strength training helps preserve muscle and bone
It improves insulin sensitivity and joint stability
It supports long-term independence and resilience
Don't focus too much on doing it perfectly, but rather focus on showing up regularly and building strength over time.
Sleep: A Non-Negotiable Foundation
Sleep often becomes more fragile during menopause, yet it’s one of the most powerful regulators of hormones, mood, and appetite.
Poor sleep increases cravings and fatigue
It amplifies stress and emotional reactivity
Protecting sleep is an act of health, not indulgence
When sleep improves, many other symptoms follow.
Stress Regulation: The Missing Piece
Because the body’s stress buffer is lower, how we manage stress matters as much as how much we have.
Helpful strategies include:
Gentle movement
Time outdoors
Breath work or mindfulness
Emotional processing and boundaries
Stress regulation is teaching the nervous system that it’s safe.
The Big Picture
In your fifties, you may feel like you’ve just arrived. You’ve raised the kids, built the career, and finally have the space to exhale and enjoy life—only to feel like your body has other plans.
Maybe this is the time to listen more closely to your body's signals.
Maybe it is not the moment to push harder.
Maybe this is a season to simplify, to prioritize what truly supports your health, and to work with your body rather than against it. When you shift from forcing to supporting, the pause becomes less frustrating—and far more sustainable.
Maybe this is the season when the peacock pauses. Not because she’s lost her beauty or strength, but because she’s learning to move differently. And even though on some days you feel like a feather duster, like me; what if the feathers were never the point? Maybe the wisdom gained through the years and during this transition is the point. When we stop fighting our bodies and start listening, this transition becomes less about loss and more about care—choosing support and partnership.
Our bodies are not broken. Let's take this transition as an invitation into a kinder, more sustainable way of caring for ourselves.
What might change if you allowed yourself to listen—rather than push—right now?
I would love to hear your "pause" stories in the comments!
DISCLAIMER: Lea Famularcano, MD is a medical doctor, but she is not your doctor. Topics discussed are purely informational only. She is not offering medical advice on this website. If you are in need of professional advice or medical care, you must seek out the services of your doctor or health care professional.
Comments